Missing You Never Gets Easier.

Flying up to hit me on the 19th this month is the anniversary of my best friend's death... 3 years... 3 years since I got the call that the best person I have EVER known was killed in a car accident. 3 years since I first thought about all the things I wish I had told her. This is one of the 3 times a year [yea 3s right?] that really hit hard for me, the other two being the anniversary of my dad's death in may and the anniversary of my grandma's death in July.

I know it's bad to focus on dates... I usually forget all others but for these 3 days, my life was completely altered in a not so good way by the loss of 3 people who really played a huge role in my life. I know that they just got their ticket to heaven earlier to me- I know they are the LUCKY ones. It doesn't make their loss any easier. I want to be selfish. I want to be angry. It's harder with Britanie because she was so young and she was so GOOD.

I know a lot of people spend time talking about all the good after a person's death, but honestly not Britanie- she had no bad- she was all good. I'm sure that's hard to believe but it's so true. She volunteered, she could sing, she could dance, she stayed a virgin, she was strong in her faith, she helped any and everyone- even if they had done something horrible to her. She was the first person who reached out to me at Fort Campbell High and from that day on- we were inseparable. I road to school with her everyday- she was even my date for Jr Homecoming [the one and only one I EVER went to]. Her death was so sudden and all I could ever think since that day- is why her? Why the one person I know who has no bad side to her, who doesn't gossip or suck at being a real friend... why not someone who is bad- who purposely hurts other people--- maybe even me...

Looking back at it now- I know that she isn't the one hurting--- the one's whose life she touched are forever changed... There is no forgetting her. She got her ticket to heaven early and boy did she earn that ticket!

Although I miss her and I still think about the few days before she died- my calling to tell her news that I was EXPECTING- I know that I was blessed to have her in my life the few years I had her and that I will never be the same person because of her. This year seems to be harder than last. I hope that someday I can say that I am half the amazing person that she was.

Brit- I miss you!

Brit, Me & Jessica before Homecoming in 05

Jessica, Brit, & Me before a FCHS Falcon Game! One of the MANY we attended together!

I just wanted to share this with you guys! It's a video made shortly after she died by an old classmate of ours. There are a few pics of us from our FCHS days...