Sunday Social

So I decided given the last few posts have been so intense, it was time to lighten up a bit =] so I'm linking up with Neely & Ashley for this week's Sunday Social. So click above and head on over and join in on the fun for this week's questions....


 1. What is something you have wanted to do but are afraid of?
PCS again. We bought our house here and while I am soooo ready to get away from here, the idea of having to sell this house and all the stress of pcsing again SCARES THE BEJEESUS out of me. I'd also like to add skydiving. I want to do it soooo bad but i'm such a chicken. faaar from a thrill seeker lol. 

2. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Honestly, I don't know. I know I will still be married to Robert but with the army things are so uncertain. I don't know where we will be. I hope to be done with school by then and hopefully started in my psychology career. Both my kids will be in school by then so it'll be a lot easier to get things done at that point. Hopefully we are 100% debt free and maybe not here in Georgia anymore. 

3. What are you looking forward to before the end of 2012?
This is a hard question because my husband is deployed for a year. Who looks forward to anything when they have to do it without the love of their life. so i guess out of everything, its getting to go up to tennessee to see my mom. and well being closer to this deployment ending.

4. What are your hopes for your blog?
Well I don't really blog for other people. I blog for myself. I am not really obsessed with how many blog readers i can get. I don't care about how many followers I have. I do care about the love and support but if I have 2 people or 200 it doesn't matter to me. I just hope that I can touch people's lives and maybe let them know they aren't alone in whatever they are going through. That it's okay to not be perfect, to face every day and not always be happy and positive. To be honest with yourself and with your struggles and to take it a day at a time. I just want to let people know they aren't alone. It's not a popularity contest to me.

5. Do you always see yourself living in your current town/city?
Excuse my language, BUT NO WAY IN HELL! I hate Georgia. 

6. What is your morning routine?
During the week I wake up at 630 and get caylee up and ready for school. I walk her to the school bus then I come home and wait for Corey to wake up. I feed him then give him snuggles and play time and sometimes a bath [usually he gets it at night]. I pick up the house and let the dogs out. I vaccuum and clean the kitchen and then play on facebook til Rob calls lol. So exciting I know right?

A Day At A Time

It was a good week. I saw my psychiatrist. and when I told him about the issues the ER doc had with putting me on pain meds for the fibro because of the anti-depressent I was on he took me off of the Celexa and put me on something meant to work towards helping with the Fibromyalgia pain and headaches known as Effexor XR. I've been on it a week and between that and the Topamax, I've only had one major headache. I've still been in pain every day but it's been bearable. I can function. I can play with my kids without focusing solely on the pain. It's been nice. I just hope it lasts.

I met a new friend this week. She's so much like me it's insane. She even kind of looks like me just tanner lol. We have a lot in common, even concerning some things we've experienced in our lives so i'm looking forward to getting know her better and developing our friendship. We clicked quickly, as did our kids. and her husband is so much like Robert. With all my friends leaving except for my amazing friend TAra [well Celina actually already gone and Heather leaving next month and a few others following suit] it's nice to know there are still "normal" people out there I can trust and befriend. '

Rob's doing okay. He's missing us big time. We still haven't got to skype. We won't get to until probably after R&R which is looking like 2013 sometime. Such a long time away still. I don't even wanna think about it. I miss him so much. I'm so ready for him to come home.

COREY STARTED CRAWLING! he's all over the place! INTO EVERYTHING! he's soooooo completely different than caylee was. Definitely my little trouble maker just like I knew he would be. I had to buy another baby gate for the hall because he hates the word no and keeps going down there and trying to get into the wire for the satellite that we have to run across the hallway. He's such a naughty little boy. And he makes the exact same faces as Rob too! it's hilarious.

Caylee's loving school. She's really excelling. She knows her days of the week now, her address, her months, and so much more. Her teacher said she is wise beyond her years. I guess all these years of working with her have paid off.

So that's about it for now. I'll blog again soon!!!

Stepping Forward.

So needless to say the last week has been insanely overwhelming [Here are your answers]. It's hard to see any hope in ever having a normal "health" life with all these medical issues coming into light. I'm relieved to have an idea of what's been plaguing me but the idea of having to live the rest of my life, every single day in pain is scary.

But I don't want to focus on that anymore. I did my research and negative thinking won't help it, it'll only make the flare ups worse. So I'm going to focus on trying to be the best I can be. On trying to live everyday the best I can for my babies and for my amazing husband. Even if I hurt, I'm alive, I have a beautiful amazing life and family. and I have some wonderful friends who have given me so much and proved so much to me. As the famous quote says "Don't let a bad day make you feel like you have a bad life."

So here is to a step in a the right direction and hoping through the pain and the stress I can keep this mentality. Thanks again for all the love and support.

&Here Are Your Answers...

Fibromyalgia

Fibromyositis; Fibrositis

Last reviewed: February 14, 2011.

Fibromyalgia is a common syndrome in which a person has long-term, body-wide pain and tenderness in the joints, muscles, tendons, and other soft tissues.

Fibromyalgia has also been linked to fatigue, sleep problems, headaches, depression, and anxiety.

Causes, incidence, and risk factors

The cause is unknown. Possible causes or triggers of fibromyalgia include:

• Physical or emotional trauma
• Abnormal pain response - areas in the brain that are responsible for pain may react differently in fibromyalgia patients
• Sleep disturbances
• Infection, such as a virus, although none has been identified

Fibromyalgia is most common among women aged 20 to 50.

The following conditions may be seen with fibromyalgia or mimic its symptoms:

• Chronic neck or back pain
• Chronic fatigue syndrome
• Depression
• Hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid)
• Lyme disease
• Sleep disorders
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Yes. so after spending about 3 hours in the ER yesterday. This is what the paperwork I came home with was listed with. I've had headaches everyday for months. Constant pain. Trouble sleeping, apparent hypothyroidism, depression, a ripping pain in my neck. I just thought I had a pulled muscle. I never thought that at 23 years old I would go into the ER looking to get a shot in my ass and come out in tears, a bottle of muscle relaxers & with a paper that suggest I go to my PCM and get referred to a pain management doctor for this long term disorder. 
  
  
  I want to scream. I want to cry. I want my husband. I want to be normal. I guess I've known this was more than likely what's been wrong with me because it's heriditary and happens to run in my family, but I was in denial. I wanted something I could fix. something that I don't have to live with the rest of my life, something that the only cure could cause me an addiction to pain killers and muscle relaxers. something where I don't have to get numbing medications injected into the muscles of my shoulder to stop the muscle tearing pain. 
  
  
  within a two day period, everything I thought I knew about me was disproven and I feel like I am having to start completely over in my medical journey again. Not only was I told this, but apparently there is a huge possibility that I do not have allergies but in fact a sinus DISEASE. yea. i quit. i'm just one cluster-fuck of medical problems. I just want to be able to have a normal day of playing with my kids where I don't have to fake a smile through the dears because my head hurts so bad I can't think straight. I want to be a good mommy who gets to enjoy watching her babies grow. why me. why yet another bad thing happening to me? there are a shit ton of awful people in the world, why me? 

I'm Sorry.

I haven't known what to blog. I've been in this funk I guess. I miss him. I'm still trying to find my flow. I'm still trying to cope day to day without my best friend and other half. I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to get through the next year without him.

I know I've needed to blog. I haven't even seen my therapist. I've hung out with a few friends. I've had a few laughs. It's been okay. I'm dealing. The kids are dealing. We're getting through it a day at a time.

We haven't been able to skype which has really sucked. We've talked on facebook or on the phone for a few minutes a few times a week since he left but I want to see his face. It's been a struggle but we're taking it a day at a time.

Caylee is really taking it the hardest. She misses her daddy. She cries for him ever single day. It was so bad, I gave in and just let her sleep in my bed with me. and probably will the rest of the time he's gone.

I've been getting tension headaches every day again so between getting started with an allergy specialist and physical therapy hopefully soon i'll get some relief. It hasn't been easy to function with these damn headaches.

I'm sorry this post isn't much. I promise to try and get my flow back soon. I love you guys and appreciate you hanging in there with me. <3 nbsp="nbsp" p="p">