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Oh what a week it has been. I pretty much lost my closest friend but kind of gained a new one. My husband had his first PT test since he got home from Iraq [CRAZY I KNOW RIGHT] and nearly maxed it out. He's as of now going to the E-5 board on November 3rd [2 days after our 3rd wedding anniversary and 3 days before is 23rd birthday lol] so things seem to be doing okay.

I haven't really been blogging much lately... definitely not because I don't have much to say, but because I know that the things I want to say will hurt people. I guess I'm just fed up. Fed up with being kicked when all I ever do is try to care and be a good person to every one, my mother- my friends... everyone. I just never seem to do a good enough job... I just don't get it. Eh whatever. I don't really want to talk about it... My mouth will just get me into trouble.

I got another tattoo the other day. Finally got Caylee's name, her birth month flower like I wanted but instead of her birthday I got "Cadeau d'Amour" which means "Gift of Love" in French. It looks amazing. Here's a pic =] I love it. It hurt like hell, but with the awful day I was having that day, It's just what i was needing- PAIN to take away my pain. Demented much? lol... I went in with the intentions of getting her name and birthday pretty small on my wrist and this is what I ended up with. I don't regret it but I'm sure I will once I end up having to wear long sleeves in Georgia for a job in the next few years in the middle of the summer lol.

Ugh excuse my jumping... My mind is one jumbled mess. My thoughts are scattered- my emotions are everywhere. I don't know what to think or how to handle certain "situations". I feel like there really isn't anyone to talk to who can understand... the one person I had, isn't the person I thought so yea... anyway I'm done for now I guess... Maybe I just need to go back to church... I haven't been in 3 weeks and I feel that dark hole coming back...