June 2nd.... The day before June 3rd. The day before I was born 21 years ago. The age I have waited for my whole life, especially when I was in foster care. That age where there is no question about me being an adult. 21 years seems like a lifetime.
Honestly, I do not even feel 21-I feel 30, which is probably not such a good thing. I mean I have lived more in my 21 years than most do in a lifetime-which I guess I can say I am grateful for. But seriously, I don't even see my 21st as a big deal. I have been an adult for a long time now. I don't really have any cause to celebrate other than the fact that it's one more year of life, which I am more than thankful for. I guess in a way I am a bit depressed about my birthday this year. Life passes by so quickly. Things change-people change. And sometimes those changes aren't so easy to handle. I guess I have been stuck in a phase of reminiscing lately and it's really got me down. I have such a beautiful life and so much to be thankful for but I can't help but miss some of what used to be.
I miss sharing birthday parties with my brat Michelle. I miss all the time we spent together when our mom's were best friends. I miss my Nanny and how goofy she was when we were all together. I miss Mandy and our summer trips to visit Aunt Eunice in Franklin. I miss my daddy and even the disappointment he caused. I miss going to the levees and riding my bike down the big hills. I miss my treehouse. I miss getting plastered with Jessi & singing to paint me a birmigham at the top of my lungs. I miss not being looked at like I was stupid if I didn't have shoes on. I miss sitting on the front porch reading my book on Acadiana Road. I miss Northwest and all the people I grew up with. I miss boudin and boiled Crawfish. I miss Cypress trees and old houses. I miss gravel roads. I miss riding the 4-wheeler in the big field behind our house. I miss jamming to Hanson in my room with the curtain being the only Door I had to separate me from the other part of the house. I miss crooked creek and Jamie's BBQ! I miss our trips to my grandma's grave where we sat and ate pizza and told her about all the things going on in our lives. I miss walking down the gravel road to Joyce's. I miss snowballs from the stand at Fast Foods! I miss my beef Jerky from Prudhomme's! I miss the smell of the oil plant near my daddy's house. I just miss home so bad right now! There are just things there that I can't ever get or feel anywhere else! I just want to go home-at least to visit. I feel like so much time has passed by and I have missed so much-everyone changed and forgot about me and I have yet to let go. I have tried to trick myself into not missing it. To not missing those memories. To not loving that place-but I can't stop. It's in my bones. I can't help but compare every place to Louisiana-and in my heart I know that no place will ever even come close to comparing... or come closing to truly being in my heart... LOUISIANA-THIS GIRL IS STILL CAJUN AT HEART!!
4 comments:
aww Ash that is sweet. At least you are not the type of person who tries to forget that she is from Louisiana...most people are ashamed to say they are from Louisiana. Give me a call sometime and we can talk and laugh.
_Dana
just how they say-you can take the girl out of the country BUT you can NOT take the country out of the girl! EVER! I miss you tons-more than you know! <3 you lots honey:) ::muah:: you have my number-remember: ANYTIME!
-Jessi :)
Ashley, 21 wasn't shit for me either. I was a year ahead of most in college, I had a house, a fiance, three dogs, and a job. It was rough, but ya know, those of us who grow up and go through a lot--we have to turn into adults A LOT sooner than most of our friends and so forth. Makes you a better person..and I love how much you miss Louisiana, I wish I had a place to call "home" that sounds so beautiful and peaceful. Cherish the fact that you have that ability to reminisce b/c some of us are from states and towns that are just outright boring, and suck. I live for the simple things like you've already lived. Makes you the amazing person we all love :) Everyone is a little country at heart, and you're more than that--like stated above, you'll never lose it no matter WHERE you are or where the Army moves you. You know I have madd love for you.
I LOVE YOU LIZ!!!
Post a Comment