"Don't worry 'bout a thing, Cause every little thing gonna be all right."- Bob Marley
See that quote right up there... Now that is something that every single person should live by-even at the worst and most pain in the butt moments of their lives. I think we, humanity as a whole, spend way too much of our time constantly thinking about the things that are just insignificant. Will we have enough money to the pay the bills for the month, Who has what, are we like the Jones', the war, if our marriage will last, if our kids will grow up to be healthy and happy, if we will grow up to be healthy and happy... the list goes on and on. What we fail to realize, is that all the worrying in the world gets us no where but stuck in a heart hospital in our upper thirties and gray-haired by the time we reach 35. For instance, I can definitely understand why I am constantly sick, why I always have some sort of headache or ailment... It is because I am so consumed by the idea that things will fall apart in my life, that I just haven't done enough in my 21 years to deserve something so good... Well can we say that I am just being a complete and utter idiot.
Anyway, Of course our air condition was fixed. Mind you it took a week and 400 dollars, but none-the-less it was fixed and has been working like a charm. I am pretty sure our electric bill is going to stink big ones from when it kept freezing up... but who cares? My daughter is healthy, my husband is home and won't be deploying for a WHILE, and I have all that a woman could ever hope for. I just hope that things keep going great. I want a break from being the worry wart for a while. Lord only knows how much I could use it... seeing that I may just be the person to have a heart attack before 30 because I spend all my damn time worrying about what COULD go wrong rather than focusing on the beautiful things I have in my life. For example, I have an extremely intelligent, beautiful, amazing little girl who just gives me a million reasons a day to smile. She makes my heart absolutely melt in my chest and makes me question how I could ever love anyone like I love her. Yet I get mad and frustrated when I find out that yet again, I am not pregnant. It's no fun to not get what I want... It's scary to think that my daughter will never have a brother or sister and all because my body wants to be lame! So my goal with the TTC is to focus on my daughter now because guess what, she needs me and if I am stressed because those positive tests are coming, I lose out on this precious and amazing time with her. And that is just not something I am willing to do. So baby #2 I love you, but come when you are ready and stop making me stress =]
So, I spent so much time fretting and crying and being heartbroken only to find out that rob WONT be deploying! It's like every request I have ever given to God has come true [minus a few of course]. I guess no matter how much i think HE doesn't know what he's doing, he sure always has a way of showing me he's boss and he'll do what's right for our family. I didn't know what i would do if already, Rob would have to be deploying again. How I would sit there and explain to a 2 year old that yes daddy had to leave again, but HOPEFULLY he'd be coming back! I am thankful I get out of that a bit longer. 2 1/2 more years to be exact!!!!!
Anyway, I just felt the need to post this. I don't know why-I just couldn't sleep and it came to me. I hope you all enjoy this big jumbled mess <3
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