I honestly thought I wasn't going to cry the whole time I was there [which was about 4 hours]. I did great. He did great. Then as he was walking me to the car for me to leave, he started crying then hugged me so tight and said "Baby youre my best friend & I'm going to miss you so much" and from that moment I couldn't contain the heartache and the tears anymore. We just held each other and cried. Cried like it was the last time we'd ever see each other. I didn't want to get in the car, he didn't want to walk away. But the inevitable had to happen and for the 2nd time I had to watch the man who is my best friend in the entire world walk away to get on that evil white bus for another year long deployment.
I cried the whole way home. Honestly, I don't even remember driving. I pulled up in the driveway and wiped my face and put a smile on. Caylee knows he's going over there. He showed her a map. We've told her every single day for month "Daddy has to go to AFG until you are 5. He'll leave when you're 4 and come back when you're 5" I know she says she understands but I know that in a few weeks, when her grandparents leave and we are on our own again and daddy doesn't come home, i know she'll start crying for him. And I hope I have the strength to hold in those tears to be strong for her. And I worry about Corey and how he is going to handle it. It's not even about my pain. I can deal. I just don't like my husband and my babies hurting.
So it begins. A year of being on my own to raise the babies. to not being with the man of my dreams. to care packages and 2 minute phone calls. and occasional skype dates. and an empty bed. So it begins, another year stronger in our marriage, in our friendship.
& here are a few pics I wanted to share =]
8 comments:
:(
if you need anyone to bullshit with, I know we don't know each other but a new friend can always be a good thing.
hugs
Ashley, you are such an amazing person. My heart aches for you, I've been thinking about you every day for a few days straight now, praying that you and the family have the strength you need to "get it started" (always seems like the hardest freaking part). If you need anything, I'm here for you. Just remember, when you guys are finished, it's just another bump in the road that you overcame with your beautiful family. I know it's not easy to think about that now, because it's just begun. I love you, even though I don't know you, I feel like I've known you forever. <3
My heart is hurting for you :( it's weird how watching u do this again takes me back to when I was doing it and I feel that pain all over. And I'm kinda glad I haven't lost touch with that part of myself for you.
You are so friggin strong and I am so absolutely and overwhelmingly proud of you. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I love you dear. Just know I'm sending you my heart for the year.
Awww! Keep your chin up. Hopefully time will pass quickly for you.
Ugh deployments are bitches! This made me cry! My husband had to leave from R&R when Evelyn was a week old and I hated him saying goodbye to her! It's horrible!
Your going to do absolutely amazing though! You got this! Keep goals and blog!
Much love to you and the kids!
:( I feel for you! I will be praying for your adorable family. I love the pictures! You are such an amazing person, you are going to kick this deployment right in the rear! Hugs!
Praying for your family. This family is thankful for your sacrifices and his honor and duty. Take care of yourself, too.
You have such a gorgeous family. You can really see the love you and Rob have for one another from these photos, you guys are too cute.
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