I've come to realize

I've come realize that:


Everyone makes mistakes. People can't be perfect in everything they do all of the time. Holding a grudge and not moving on from people's mistakes [no matter how bad they may be] does nothing but make me and them miserable. Sometimes you just have to learn to forgive and move on. I want to make things right with the people I have wronged, but I just don't even know where to start. It's a long list.


I am not perfect. I cause most of my misery 90% of the time. And even the misery I don't cause, I do, simply because I allow other people to affect me. The sooner I realize I am my own worst enemy, the happier I will be.


I push people away and then wonder why they left. I bring everything on myself. Instead of letting go of the small things that piss me off-I am willing to throw away great friendships and relationships all because I am too damn stubborn to let it go.


Being a mother and wife is the most amazing thing in the entire world and really, they are all I need to ever be happy.


It is unfair of me to be bitter and unhappy just because people are getting what I want [e.g pregnant]. I find myself being so bitter and thinking such mean things anytime I find out someone [unless I am super close to them] is pregnant. I just always wonder what I am doing so wrong that God gives everyone else another baby but me. I should be nothing but happy for anyone who gets such a beautiful gift. I guess misery really does love company.


I hold myself back from succeeding. I had an amazing job-that could have turned into a beautiful career- but I found any and every excuse to get out of doing my job and doing what needed to be done to go up the ladder. I really do miss my job and know I'll probably never have another one that I could love as much as I loved working with "my" kids.


Regret is a horrible thing and truly a waste of time and energy but everyone experiences it. You just have to learn from your mistakes and grow from them.


I'm not so great of a friend. I pick off the little things that irritate me and I blow them into things that are way bigger than they should be. I make a mountain out of an aunt hill.


Sometimes it's good to get out of the house instead of being a hermit. Cabin fever is a killer.


Kids repeat everything and while it may be cute at first when they drop the F bomb, It's not so cute when they are 5 and saying it.


Not everyone has a good relationship with their families, but I am lucky enough to have 2 moms, 2 dads, and an amazing aunt who looks at me like a daughter. I shouldn't care that I don't have a huge family that gets together for every holiday. I have people who have been by my side even when I didn't deserve it.


Many of my problems with my mom are because of me. Because I was selfish and all about me and didn't care enough about the struggle she was having from the time I was a child until now. If I would have saw past myself for just a second, maybe our entire lives would have been different.


Death never gets easier-EVER. All you can do is live life everyday like they are still alive, and have the goal of making them proud.


If you can't love yourself, you can't love anyone else. You have to be alright being in your own skin. Not all the beautiful girls are truly beautiful, it's their smile and confidence that makes them that way! 


I shouldn't be ashamed of who I am and where I have been in my life. While I am not perfect, I have a lot to be proud of and a lot to be thankful for. 


I would not have the life I have, or be the person I am, if it weren't for rob. He truly built me into a woman from that fragile little girl I used to be. Even when I want to kill him [not literally], I can find comfort in knowing that he loves me at my worst and my best and that I will always have him to turn too. While life changes, our love for each other never will!